Meningen med livet

Känner mig lite mer taggad nu. Det där brevet från mitt gamla jag har nog haft effekt. Och på förmiddagen gav jag mig ut för att promenera en runda. Det slutade med lite spontana intervaller, för jag fick precis rätt musik i öronen för det. Musiken har hjälpt till över lag att få lite ordning på hjärnan. Lite inspirerande ord och toner som gör det lättare att kämpa. Dagens höjdpunkter var:

Survivor med Destiny’s child
Hela texten är peppande om hur allting blir bättre när man kastar ut skiten i sitt liv vare sig det är en karl-slusk eller dåliga vanor. Men särskilt refrängen gillar jag
Now that you’re out of my life
I’m so much better
You thought that I’d be weak without you
But I’m stronger

You thought that I’d be broke without you
But I’m richer
You thought that I’d be sad without you
I laugh harder

You thought I wouldn’t grow without you
Now I’m wiser
Though that I’d be helpless without you
But I’m smarter

You thought that I’d be stressed without you
But I’m chillin’
You thought I wouldn’t sell without you
Sold 9 million

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m not goin’ give up (What?)
I’m not goin’ stop (What?)
I’m goin’ work harder (What?)

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m goin’na make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin’ (What?)

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m not goin’ give up (What?)
I’m not goin’ stop (What?)
I’m goin’ work harder (What?)

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m goin’ make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin’ (What?)

Thought I couldn’t breathe without you
I’m inhaling
You thought I couldn’t see without you
Perfect vision

You thought I couldn’t last without you
But I’m lastin’
You thought that I would die without you
But I’m livin’

Thought that I would fail without you
But I’m on top
Thought it would be over by now
But it won’t stop

Thought that I would self destruct
But I’m still here
Even in my years to come
I’m still goin’ be here

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m not goin’ give up (What?)
I’m not goin’ stop (What?)
I’m goin’ work harder (What?)

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m goin’na make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin’ (What?)

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m not goin’ give up (What?)
I’m not goin’ stop (What?)
I’m goin’ work harder (What?)

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m goin’na make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin’ (What?)

I’m wishin’ you the best
Pray that you are blessed
Bring much success, no stress, and lots of happiness
(I’m better than that)

I’m not goin’ blast you on the radio
(I’m better than that)
I’m not goin’ lie on you and your family
(I’m better than that)

I’m not goin’ hate on you in the magazines
(‘m better than that)
I’m not goin’ compromise my Christianity
(I’m better than that)

You know I’m not goin’ diss you on the internet
‘Cause my mama taught me better than that

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m not goin’ give up (What?)
I’m not goin’ stop (What?)
I’m goin’ work harder (What?)

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m goin’na make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin’ (What?)

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m not goin’ give up (What?)
I’m not goin’ stop (What?)
I’m goin’ work harder (What?)

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m goin’ make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin’ (What?)

Oh (oh) oh (oh)…

After of all of the darkness and sadness
Soon comes happiness
If I surround my self with positive things
I’ll gain prosperity

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m not goin’ give up (What?)
I’m not goin’ stop (What?)
I’m goin’ work harder (What?)

I’m a survivor (What?)
I’m goin’ make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin’ (What?)

Sedan var det Gloria Gaynors gamla disco-dänga i en upphottad version som verkligen helt och hållet talade till mig. Just detta med att man tror sig vara kvitt ett dåligt kapitel och så plötsligt kommer det tillbaka och försöker bita en i baken. Menar… Jag kämpade hårt förra året för att göra mig av med dåliga matvanor och sötsug, och jag trodde att jag var kvitt det och plötsligt sitter jag här med en stor påse smågodis ena kvällen, en chipspåse nästa och gud vet vad alla andra kvällar. Inte ok! Så hela texten dedikeras till allt skräp jag har ätit i mina dagar.

At first, I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking, I could  never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many  nights thinking, how you did me wrong
And I grew strong and I  learned how to get along
And so you’re back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your  face
I should have changed that  stupid lock
I should have made you  leave your key
If I’d known for just  one second you’d be back to bother me
Go  on now, go, walk out the door, just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one, who tried to hurt me with goodbye?
Did you think I’d crumble?
Did you think I’d  lay down and die?
Oh, no, not  I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I  know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve  got all my life to live, I’ve got all my love to give
And I’ll survive, I will survive, hey, hey
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent, oh, so many nights just feeling  sorry for myself
I used to cry but  now I hold my head up high
And  you see me, somebody new
I’m not  that chained up little person still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be  free
But now I’m saving all my  loving for someone who’s loving me
Go  on now, go, walk out the door, just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one, who tried to break me with goodbye
Did you think I’d crumble? Did you think  I’d lay down and die?
Oh, no,  not I, I will survive
Oh, as long  as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live, I’ve got all my love to  give
And I’ll survive, I will  survive

Och till sist var det Christina Aguileras Fighter. Den berör mig på många nivåer i mitt liv där jag gått igenom något tufft, eller till och med hemskt, men kommit ut starkare på andra sidan. Att mina upplevelser och erfarenheter har gjort mig till den person jag är med alla styrkor som jag har idag, och att det är något jag är tacksam för.

After all that you put me through,
You think I’d despise you,
But in the end I wanna thank you,
‘Cause you’ve made me that much stronger

Well I thought I knew you, thinkin’ that you were true
Guess I, I couldn’t trust called your bluff time is up
‘Cause I’ve had enough
You were there by my side, always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames cause your greed sold me out in shame

After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that
I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you’re wrong
‘Cause if it wasn’t for all that you tried to do, I wouldn’t know
Just how capable I am to pull through
So I want to say thank you

‘Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Never saw it coming, all of your backstabbing
Just so you could cash in on a good thing before I’d realize your game
I heard you’re goin’ round playin’, the victim now
But don’t even begin feeling I’m the one to blame
‘Cause you dug your own grave
After all of the fights and the lies cause you’re wanting to haunt me
But that won’t work anymore, no more,
It’s over
‘Cause if it wasn’t for all of your torture
I wouldn’t know how to be this way now and never back down
So I want to say thank you
Cause it

makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to know the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you’ll see
You won’t stop me

I am a fighter and I
I ain’t goin’ stop
There is no turning back
I’ve had enough

makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

You thought I would forget,
But I remember
‘Cause I remember
I remember
You thought I would forget,
But I remember
‘Cause I remember
I remember

Och som alltid har jag ledmotivet från Disney’s Herkules som mitt alldeles speciella mantra. Jag kan klara av det! I can go the distance!

I have often dreamed
Of a far-off place
Where a hero’s welcome
Will be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I’m meant to be

I’ll be there someday
I can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know ev’ry mile
Will be worth my while

When I go the distance
I’ll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though that road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime
But somehow I’ll see it through

And I won’t look back
I can go the distance
And I’ll stay on track
No, I won’t accept defeat
It’s an uphill slope
But I won’t lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
A hero’s strength is measured by his heart
Ooooooooooooooooooo
( guitar solo )

Like a shooting star
I will go the distance
I will search the world
I will face its heart
I dont care how far
I can go the distance
Till I find my heros welcome
Waiting In your arms

I will search the world
I will face its harms
Till I find mt hero’s welcome
Waiting in your arms

Ut med det gamla! In med det nya! Fortsätt på den hälsosamma vägen!